The Beaches of Wales
by PigWhisk
Summary: The Doctor is dissatisfied with Wales. Jack is dissatisfied with his team. What happens when the two meet by pure chance, and the Doctor’s miscalculations? Be warned: written by two very hyper girls! Likely to be slash! And yeah, I suck at summaries.
1. Sand

Warning: …Actually I'm not sure what the warning is yet. I'm pretty sure though, that based on previous works this will contain some quite err… 'dubious' scenes. And likely slash. Which means that if you don't like male/male pairings, I advise that you don't read, just in case!

Disclaimer: Totally doesn't belong to me. Don't think it belongs to Justn either. I'll have to ask her about that…

Authors: Justn and PigWhisk

Beta: Me, 'cause I'm the one writing it up.

A/N: Basically, my friend, Justn, and I were bored. We had pen, paper and a bit of free time. So what better to do than write a joint story? Being the completely hyper geniuses that we are, I expect this to be most odd, and hopefully entertaining.

The format is one in which we each write about a paragraph at a time as our respective characters, her as the Doctor and me as Jack Harkness. Each paragraph is a different chapter. It's mostly set in the Whoverse, which is why it's not under Crossovers. Rating will likely change, but for the moment there's nothing particularly 'dirty' in it. Anyway, I think I've rambled too much now, so let's proceed to the story!

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**The Beaches of Wales **

**Chapter 1: Sand**

"SAND! WHAT IS IT WITH SAND?! IT'S AS IF EVERY OTHER PLANET I LAND ON IS COVERED IN SAND! Minus the last forty-one, of course." The Doctor was staring out over a vast landscape of, that's right, sand.

He went back into the TARDIS and looked up his location.

"What? That's impossible!" He ran outside again, ran right round the TARDIS and then went back in.

"No, this can't be… Wales?!"

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A/N: Reviews would be appreciated though I know I'm unlikely to get any yet. Check out Justn's stories on ffn. 'Cause I said so. If you want more weirdness like this one then read "Once there were three horny rhinos in a radiator". As you've likely guessed from the title, we write that one together as well XD. 

(Sorry, I ramble quite a lot.)


	2. Company Holidays

Disclaimer: Still not mine, though I've yet to ask Justn if she owns any of it. I doubt that though.

Authors: Justn and PigWhisk

Beta: Me, 'cause I just 'love' sorting through our messy spelling and atrocious grammar.

A/N: Just for a treat (and as I happen to have them with me) I'm uploading the first two in just one night! Aren't I nice?

Remember – each chapter is from an alternating viewpoint. This one is from Jack's, as it was written by me.

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**The Beaches of Wales**

**Chapter 2: Company Holidays**

Strolling along the beach, Captain Jack Harkness revelled in the feel of sand between his toes. He could hear that annoying cow Gwen in the distance, wondering where he'd gone, but he wouldn't be returning just yet. He wanted to enjoy the beach alone for a while. Why he'd brought the others on this company holiday he'd no idea. It just seemd like a good idea at the time, he supposed. Now, though, he thoroughly regretted it.

I should have gone alone, Jack thought, miserably. Would've been more fun that way.

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A/N: Reviews? Yes? No? Maybe?

Just so you know, I don't have anything against Gwen, personally. I just thought it'd be interesting to have Jack hate her.

Check out Justn's other stories! Just visit her ffn page for more awesomeness like this.


	3. Introducing John Smith

Warning: Again, I'm not sure just yet how dirty we'll make this, though as I expect it to be slash don't read it if you don't like male/male pairings.

Disclaimer: Well, I certainly don't own it and though Justn's rights to this are still a little uncertain, I'm pretty sure she doesn't either.

Authors: Justn and PigWhisk

Beta: Me, 'cause all I've ever needed to make my life complete is a story written badly which needs to be made neat. (Really bad attempt at some quick poetry there.)

A/N: I forgot to put the warning in the last one! Shame on me. But it's basically the same as the others. And I forgot to update this even though I could and have been too busy to right my own paragraph! I just get worse and worse, don't I? So, sorry about that.

Remember – each chapter is from an alternating viewpoint. This one is from the Doctor's, as it was written by Justn.

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**The Beaches of Wales**

**Introducing John Smith**

The Doctor locked up the TARDIS and slouched along the beach. He had only gone about four meters when he sat down on a rock and pulled a shoe off.

"This is why I hate sand! I don't know what it is but it seems to instantly fill shoes with it's self." He tipped up his shoe and out came enough sand to fill a large bucket. He put his shoe back on and continued down the beach, when he noticed Jack.

"Oh no! Not you! How did you get here? I thought we left you on a space station." He looked back to see the TARDIS was out of sight and remembered that Jack wouldn't recognise him. He had 'changed his look' since they last met. So he walked over to Jack and 'introduced' himself.

"Hi, my names John Smith. Pleased to meet you." It would be fun seeing how long it would take Jack to recognise him.

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A/N: We've had so few reviews! More would be much appreciated y'know /hint hint/. And remember to check out Justn's other stories on ffn! Especially "Once there were three horny rhinos in a radiator". I'm quite proud of that one /gigglesnort/. 


	4. Unfamiliar Familiarity

Warning: Slash! Though only implications at the moment, it will likely become much more at a later point. So if it's not your cup of tea, go get a coffee next door.

Disclaimer: I think I've made it pretty clear that I don't own this. As for Justn, well… Legally it isn't hers and that's all you need to know.

Authors: Justn and PigWhisk

Beta: Me, 'cause I doubt there's anyone else who would beta these short pieces of randomness.

A/N: Punish me O Great Readers! For I have once again forgotten to update! And though I would have done it last night, Justn had the sheet and couldn'' e-mail it to me. So to make up for it, I'll give you two updates again.

Remember – each chapter is from an alternating viewpoint. This one is from Jack's, as it was written by me.

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**The Beaches of Wales**

**Unfamiliar Familiarity**

Jack spun round at the unfamiliar voice. Behind him stood a strangely attractive man who looked to be in his 30s and was curiously familiar. Something in his mannerisms reminded Jack of someone, though he couldn't for the life of him think who.

But why on earth was this supposed stranger talking to him? In the mood he was in, Jack didn't much care to find out, yet he knew he couldn't just completely ignore him.

"Oh, hi," he replied, awkwardly, as he tried to inconspicuously edge away. Unfortunately, he was apprehended mid-escape when the alluring man started speaking again.

"It's Jack something, isn't it?"

"Uhh… Yeah. Yeah… Were you in World War 2, per chance?"

"Only briefly," the other said, then laughed. Obviously, this was some kind of joke, so Jack thought he ought to pretend it was too. He quickly laughed with the good-looking bloke and prayed he wasn't now thought of as a weirdo.

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A/N: Justn gave me full permission to use the Doctor in this. Actually, she said what he'd say for me so it was kind of her using him anyway. So review with a big thank you to her for that! Else this would have been one hella short chapter. And when you've reviewed you can read Justn's other stories, and review them as well. I know you just love to review /gigglesnort/ 


	5. Releasing the Indications

Warning: This'll be slash! It's just not very obvious yet. So if that don't float your boat, abandon ship and find another river.

Disclaimer: I don't know quite who it does belong to me, but neither my name nor Justn's is placed under the rights.

Authors: Justn and PigWhisk

Beta: Me, 'cause I'm likely the only person who'd think the thesaurus hadn't been used quite enough.

A/N: We decided it would be funny (and random) to over-use the thesaurus in one of our chapters, so here it is! The chapter with the over-used thesaurus!

Remember – each chapter is from an alternating viewpoint. This one is from the Doctor's, as it was written by Justn.

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**The Beaches of Wales**

**Releasing the Indications (or, The Doctor's New Thesaurus)**

Jack evidently had yet to heed his persona in his contemporary bearing. The Doctor could not avoid guffawing, seeing as how abundant his implications had been.

"No, I may look a little different since last we met. I like to change my style every now and then."

This was pioneering towards humdrum, but he did not wish to discontinue his attempt by conceding the reality to Captain Jack. In an effort at making it conspicuous he added: "I wasn't really expecting to be here. Some times my transport just drops me in completely the incorrect place. I had intended to be in Cardiff so as to charge the battery."

If Jack didn't comprehend after that, he would have to pack it in.

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A/N: I just HAD to use the thesaurus on the title too. It was originally going to be Dropping the Hints, but I found that a little too un-thesaurused /gigglesnort/ Justn will notice that I thesaurused a few extra words, too, but never mind. Do her a favour and check out her other stories, too. But make sure you review first! And be grateful I didn't let the thesaurus loose on the A/N as well /gigglesnort/ 


	6. Unusual Transport

Warning: The slash is a coming; when, who knows? But it'll be here so if this isn't your stop, try the next one.

Disclaimer: Not mine, honest! Justn? Well, go ask her 'cause I can't be sure. Don't think she legally owns it though…

Authors: Justn and PigWhisk

Beta: Me, 'cause I don't trust anyone else to critically review my own work like I do.

A/N: I've finally updated at a reasonable time! So proud of myself now /gigglesnort/. Though I probably wouldn't have if I hadn't gotten another encouraging review, so thanks to House1Nocturne and I hope you enjoy this chapter : ). I may even have updated sooner, but I had to go away for the weekend and had no computer.

Remember – each chapter is from an alternating viewpoint. This one is from Jack's, as it was written by me.

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**The Beaches Of Wales**

**Unusual Transport**

John Smith really was quite strange, Jack concluded. To try to come all the way to Cardiff just to charge his battery when there must have been far closer places to do so was insane. Or maybe his 'transport', as the man put it, was rare and needed something found only in Cardiff to charge it, rather like the Doctor's TARDIS. In fact, when he thought about it, Jack realised that this man was incredibly similar to the Doctor.

Jack smiled at the thought of aforementioned Time Lord. He hadn't seen the Doctor in a very long time, but they were bound to cross paths sooner or later. Secretly, Jack couldn't wait.

Remembering where he was and that he must have been smiling rather randomly, Jack quickly covered up his absent-mindedness with a question: "So is your transport rather unusual then, that it can only be charged in Cardiff?"

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A/N: Heeeee I got to use one of my favourite words (other than gigglesnort) /gigglesnort/. If you can work out which word you get a cookie. Just tell me in a review /hint hint/. Then go and review Justn's other stories, but make sure you read them first /gigglesnort/. And yeah, I'm kinda hyper so how I managed to write this I've no idea /gigglesnort/. 

House1Nocturne: Thanks for putting this on your alert list! I feel honoured. I'm glad you like Jack being so clueless as to the Doctor's identity; I thought it pretty funny myself /gigglesnort/ Hope you enjoyed this chapter, and all chapters yet to come XD.


	7. Weeeell

Warning: There WILL be slash! Just not quite yet…

Disclaimer: It's been decided that I don't own anything, except the idea. Justn however… well let's just say that she has no legal rights over it and be done with that.

Authors: Justn and PigWhisk

Beta: Me, 'cause I hate it when a beta has worse grammar and spelling than the writer.

A/N: Justn didn't realise chapter 6 had been uploaded 'til I told her so she sent it late. And then when she did send it (yesterday) I couldn't be assed to put it up so did it today instead. So we're both to blame XD

You may notice the rating slowly creeping up as we go further into the slash and bad language…

Remember – each chapter is from an alternating viewpoint. This one is from the Doctor's, as it was written by Justn.

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**The Beaches of Wales**

**Weeeell **

He was getting there, at least.

"Well, it's quiet old weeeell, I say old; it's ancient really and you know how it is with chargers - the older a thing gets the harder it is find one."

This was Jack to the core; lightening fast or surprisingly slow.

"That and it's been a while since did charge it so the battery is rather low weeeell, flat actually. In fact I may need to tow it to Cardiff. You wouldn't happen to know anyone one who could help with that would you? It's not too big or anything, weeeell it really depends how you look at it. It's one of those that looks small but really it's rather spacious."

He grinned at Jack knowing he'd realise any second.

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A/N: Oh wow reviews! Thank you so much and more would be appreciated ;D. And go see Justn's other stories 'cause they're awesome /gigglesnort/. 

barbequed hamster: The reason the chapters are short is because Justn and I are supposed to be writing roughly a paragraph for each chapter. Nice name, by the way :).

X-Let-it-Rain-X: I'm glad you like it! Though sorry about the late update. And I know what you mean about long chapters XD.

Justn: Pfft you only know it 'cause I told you /gigglesnort/.


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